Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Raising Daughters Isn't a "One Time Event"

Be the Dad She Needs You to Be, by Kevin Leman, is appropriately titled.  Far too often, fathers become the dad they want to be -- it is much easier -- with the end result of children that have missed out.  For instance, fathers will put so much effort into the acquisition of stuff because they believe those things are what their children want and need.  Instead, children need our time and our presence.

Leman challenges the belief that the most important relationship in the home is same gender -- moms teaching their girls and dads teaching their boys.  Yes, those connections are important, but the cross-gender relationships -- dads and daughters or moms and sons are the critical factors.  Fathers, by their example in the home, show their daughters how a man should truly love their wives.  The author says the greatest compliment a little girl can provide her father is this statement -- "I want to marry someone just like daddy."  Fathers, by their time and presence, create a secure environment that does not force a daughter to go outside the home to find "love" through an intimate relationship outside of marriage.  Fathers, by their words, teach the truth of God's Word and how it applies in every situation of life -- success, failure, discouragement, risk-taking, sharing, etc.

This book has the same straightforward Leman-esque style.  He does not sugar-coat anything but lays it all out there for you.  After some tough sections, he turns it around and then asks you questions about your relation to that section.  He also endears himself to any reader through his use of humor - namely his own mistakes with his family.  These literary tools help him relate to us because it reveals that even the author does not "have it all" figured out all the time.

My only compliant with the book its regurgitation of his other works.  If you have read his book Have a New Kid by Friday, then you will see a great deal of that information rehashed -- "B doesn't happen until A does" or "Say it once and then walk away."  If you have read The Birth Order Book, then you will hear the same explanations of the firstborn, middle, and youngest children.  If you have read A Chicken's Guide to Talking Turkey to Your Kids about Sex, then...well...you get the picture.  While he does apply these topics specifically to daughters, I was hoping for something brand new from Leman.

Regardless of that gripe, which in the scope of things is really minor, this book does have solid information necessary for any dad with a daughter.  I also appreciate his introduction where he says this is primarily for dads with daughters but can be read by single moms or just daughters.  If you currently have a daughter, or have one on the way, get a copy of this book.


Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLookBloggers.com review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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