Monday, March 3, 2014

Fatherhood: the Fortune or Fault of Families

Bad Dads of the Bible: 8 Mistakes Every Good Dad Can Avoid by Roland Warren is a much needed work in our modern culture.   The family unit instituted by God consists of a man and a woman working in a partnership for the benefit of the children.  Whenever that model is upset, the consequences are rather dire for the family and for society at large. 

Warren opens his book with a compelling introduction that runs the gambit – from those that did not have engaged fathers to those that largely do not have fathers in the home.  Warren, who is African American, cites a statistic on page 20 that is appalling – 1 of out of every 3 children nationally exist in homes without fathers (that figure is 3 out of 5 for the African American community).  He ties that statistic to the implications for society at large – increasing teen pregnancy, lower academic performance, increased crime, and persistent poverty. 

A bigger part of the problem that Warren barely grazed is the responsibility of the church.  Yes, he mentions that he went to churches and implored them to assist in these situations; but a bigger issue can be traced back at least one generation.  The church, by and large, has failed to teach and prepare young men to become fathers.  Thus, when those boys become adults, they may become a biological father but they do not lead as a godly man should.  It becomes easier for them to abdicate to the church their God-ordained responsibility in the home to teach their children the ways of God.  If they have not learned and practices Biblical wisdom, then how could they teach it?

Warren does highlight 8 men of Scripture that were not good fathers.  He shows their mistakes and utilizes an approach that I appreciate.  At the conclusion of each chapter, there is a time of Reflection (think on these things), Correction (change these things) and Connection (do these things).  It is a great way to ensure the chapter is applied rather that just read through hastily.  

The dads and their errors are summarized briefly below:
  • ·         David – paralyzed by past mistakes
  • ·         Laban – made children compete for his love
  • ·         Jacob – ignored a sibling rivalry
  • ·         Saul – made it difficult to be honored
  • ·         Abraham –abandoned his child
  • ·         Eli – failed to discipline his children
  • ·        Manoah – failed to tame his child’s desires
  • ·         Lot – led his family near temptation

He does conclude the book with some positive steps – the 6 things that must be done in order to be considered a good father.  These ideas are not earth-shattering or rocket science, but he does consider one that is often overlooked:  “good fathers reach out to the fatherless” (185).  The easy example is to think of the men that lost their lives in the Iraqi and Afghan wars.  Real men are needed to reach out to these children in order to help them through their difficult times.  There are tremendous needs across this country, and good fathers need to step up to help rather than ignoring the problem. 

If you know soon-to-be-dads, please get this book and have them read it.  I wish that I would have had this book 7 years ago before my oldest was born.  Clearly, I would have done some things differently. 



Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLookBloggers.com review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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