Thursday, January 26, 2012

Cheating by Design

When Work and Family Collide by Andy Stanley is a re-release of a 2002 book entitled Choosing to Cheat. I can only assume that the title change is due to untoward implications of the phrasing; however, the previous title certainly would have captured your attention. The most recent title provides a clear understanding of the book’s topic – work and family collide in that both demand your all-too-scare time but only one can be the winner in that struggle.

Stanley divides his book into 2 parts: (1) Inside the Cheating Heart and (2) Strategy for Change. In the first half of the book, he outlines the struggle for our time and offers a parable of “falling rocks.” I’m not going to spoil that one for you but will encourage you to read the book to discover it. Interestingly, he discusses work from both a professional and personal outlook. The personal outlook is for individuals that work at home and can allow the never-ending “to do list” to dominate quality time with the family. Throughout, he intersperses examples of couples that encountered difficulty because they did not spend the appropriate amounts of time with their families.

The strongest part of the book was the first half where Stanly established the clear problem – competition for our time. Throughout this part, he cleverly turns some great phrases, and a few of my favorites follow: page 28, “good intentions have never accomplished anything” and page 26, “your Creator doesn’t define your life by your career or the neatness of your pantry.” He does rightly hit the notion that we often say we do not have time to spend with our families; however, that excuse goes right out the window during a crisis. Rather than waiting for the crisis, we need to devote our time to our family members now.

The second part of the book provides some nebulous strategies to, as my title suggests, cheat by design. He postulates that someone will be disappointed because we cannot give everyone all of the time that they demand. Immediately after establishing that known fact, he begins his case for disappointed friends and coworkers rather than family. He accomplishes that case through a brief and not-too-deep study of the prophet Daniel.

Oddly, he says that he does not want to provide a prescriptive list to be followed as a solution; however, he does just that on pages 110 and 111. This latter part of the book lacked the strong ideas and clearly stated components of the first. He used a Biblical example that, for many modern people, would not work. I believe his thesis could have been bolstered through a conclusion that clearly delineated God’s design for the family. That simple structure is the heart of the entire matter as we exchange our selfishness for relational satisfaction.

All in all, not a bad read. In fact, the book can be digested quickly, and, therein, I believe is part of the problem. It’s brevity – only 133 pages – caused it to lack depth and specificity. Despite my perceived shortcomings, this book will not do you harm and it very well may help you balance the demands on your time. In my opinion, it just did not live up to his other works; thus, the middle rating.


Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review. For additional details, please visit http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 25: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

No comments:

Post a Comment